Curmudgeon News - June 2000

This month's items include:

  • Can Cask be Cool?
  • Car Scrap Plan Misfires
  • Pub Couple Cleared over Death of Drinker
  • Political Correctness Gone Mad.....in Stockport!
  • Bass to Attack Wetherspoon
  • Couch Kid Epidemic
  • Kiwis Reject Smoke Ban
  • Evolution in Reverse
  • Don't Drink (Water) and Drive
  • Tobacco Ad Ban Up in Smoke
  • Bargain Basement Beer
  • A Spoke in Labour's Bicycle Wheel

Complete News Index


  • Can Cask Be Cool?

    Scottish Courage are reported to be spending £4m on launching a new 4.2% ABV beer called Theakston Cool Cask, which, in an attempt to appeal to younger drinkers, is to be served at 10º C, well below the 13º C recommended for real ale. Apparently a survey has found that temperature is one of the main factors deterring the young from drinking real ale, and over half of real ale is served too warm anyway. This has all the makings of a marketing disaster comparable to Watney's Red. It will be shunned by the dyed-in-the-wool cask drinkers, while the Metz generation will instinctively avoid anything that comes out of a handpump, and will see the name as patronising. Chilling real ale blunts the flavour and can mask poor cellarmanship. Surely if a lot of real ale is too warm, the right answer is to make efforts to serve it at the correct temperature, rather than erring in the opposite direction. And no doubt they will try to charge a premium price for it too.

  • Car Scrap Plan Misfires

    A scheme in Glasgow aimed at getting motorists to swap their eco-unfriendly commuter wrecks for bus passes met with a mixed response after many people used the exercise just to get a £600 pass. The scheme attracted 150 people in the first few days, but some motorists admitted they never used their bangers prior to the offer anyway - some cars arrived without an MoT, road tax or insurance. Owners had been driven or pushed their scrap motors to a depot because it was cheaper than having them collected by a scrap dealer and they got a free bus pass. Good to see the canny Scots putting a spoke in the wheel of political correctness!

  • Pub Couple Cleared over Death of Drinker

    A licensee and her husband were cleared at Winchester Crown Court of killing a customer after goading him into drinking nearly a pint of spirits. Mr Justice Turner told the jury that while Teresa and Kevin Browning owed no duty of care to the man who died, they had a heavy moral responsibility for his death. He also recommended that neither defendant should be allowed to hold a drinks licence in future. The court had heard that 44-year-old Barry Gates had spent much of the day drinking lager in the Kingston Tavern, Portsmouth. The Brownings, who had denied manslaughter, then cajoled him into drinking a pint glass filled with spirits including whisky, brandy, gin and vodka by betting him that he could not do it. Shortly after downing the cocktail, Mr Gates fell to the floor and the Brownings were said to have tried to take photographs of him.

    This is a very disturbing case, and it is clear that the Brownings' behaviour was grossly irresponsible. However, licensees will breathe a sigh of relief, as it has confirmed that they do not owe a "duty of care" towards their customers. Many people have medical conditions which mean that they could be killed by drinking a quantity of alcohol that would give others no more than a mild hangover, and if the "duty of care" had been established then it would make it very difficult to know where to draw the line, and might tend to drive problem drinkers into unregulated shebeens. But it is clear that licensees should not countenance drinking dares or challenges, and maybe it is time that the law against serving obviously drunk people was enforced more strictly.

  • Political Correctness Gone Mad...in Stockport!

    Stockport College is reported to have banned the use of more than forty "offensive" words and phrases, under equal opportunities rules that staff and students must follow. Amongst the outlawed expressions are "normal couple", "taking the mickey", "history" and "lady", following claims that they are no longer appropriate in a new century. Among the groups that college officials claim could be offended by words on the proscribed list are women, homosexuals and ethnic minorities. A policy document entitled "Equal Opportunities - Policy into Practice" also says students should not risk upsetting mentally ill people through the use of words such as "mad", "manic" and "crazy". The expression "slaving over a hot stove" is ruled to be inappropriate because it "minimises the horror and oppression of the slave trade". Unfortunately this is typical of the times, comparable to the Job Centre that outlawed the phrase "hard-working". It would be funny if it didn’t represent such a serious threat to freedom of speech. And what a pity it should have happened in my adopted home town which in general is inhabited by sensible, down-to-earth people.

  • Bass to Attack Wetherspoon

    Bass Leisure Retail is understood to be planning an all-out attack on the discount pub sector, dominated by JD Wetherspoon. The company was expected to announce plans to "significantly increase" investment in its Goose & Granite chain at its half-year results, adding fuel to a growing high-street price war. The Goose chain, which currently has 16 outlets, markets a similar no-frills approach to Wetherspoon and has an aggressive pricing policy. But if it is to seriously challenge Wetherspoon, analysts believe it will have to open 150 Goose-branded outlets in key high-street locations. A Wetherspoon spokesman said "Goose & Granite is without doubt a clone of Wetherspoon, but as far as we are concerned it is a far inferior offering." Judging by the quality of the Manchester branch, Wetherspoon’s won’t have much to fear. And key to the concept is some degree of commitment to serving interesting real ales, which is not something often associated with Bass.

  • Couch Kid Epidemic

    A report by the British Heart Foundation has shown that British children are leading increasingly unhealthy lifestyles. There had been an alarming decrease in activity levels over the past ten years, and the level of obesity had reached record levels. Children were on average eating fewer than half the recommended five portions per day of fruit and vegetables, and one in five had eaten no fruit over the week of the survey. I wonder how much the researchers were paid to find out that particular piece of the bleeding obvious. As with smoking, if patronising adults tell kids that something is bad for them, it only encourages them to do it. And, whatever the health nuts say, a packet of crisps is always going to be a damn sight more tasty than a carrot.

  • Kiwis Reject Smoke Ban

    New Zealand Health Minister Annette King has backed down on her plan to ban smoking in bars. She apparently found that she was short of support for her plan in the ruling Labour Party. Nevertheless, she intends to attempt to implement a ban in restaurants and cafés. Good to see they've seen sense, but this shows that other Anglo-Saxon democracies are ahead of us in trying to implement the health fascist agenda. It wouldn't surprise me if within five years we see a demand for all British licensed premises at least to create no-smoking areas, which could sound the death-knell for many small one-room pubs.

  • Evolution in Reverse

    A report by Professor Stephen Grey of Nottingham Trent University has warned that the sedentary lifestyle of many modern men had increased the risk of reverting to the physical appearance of their Neanderthal ancestors. Professor Gray said: "The reality is that men's bodies are taking a turn for the worse, as they overtake women in the battle of the bulge, piling on the pounds faster than ever before and becoming more and more round shouldered. Millions of years after man became upright, Millennium man is stooping lower and lower". Well, there were certainly a lot of Neanderthals about in Charleroi last month...

  • Don't Drink (Water) and Drive

    Wiltshire motorist Linda Smart faced a £1,000 fine and four points on her licence after being stopped by police for drinking water while waiting at a set of traffic lights. She refused to pay the on-the-spot fine of £20 for not being in control of her VW Lupo after she was pulled over, and has now vowed to take the matter to court where she could potentially face a much greater punishment. "How can I be out of control if I'm not even moving?" she said. Ms Smart said the offence was a waste of police time, but a police spokeswoman said they stood by the officer's original decision and the same penalty would be imposed again if necessary. Following last month's case of a motorist being ticketed for eating a KitKat, here is another example of the petty and pointless vindictiveness towards basically responsible citizens that is rapidly destroying any last vestiges of the public confidence the police may once have enjoyed.

  • Tobacco Ad Ban Up in Smoke

    The tobacco industry has won an important victory at the European Court of Justice which could see the scrapping of proposed legislation banning cigarette advertising. The court's advocate general agreed with the submission of the tobacco companies that the ban did not advance the single market and so was outside the powers of the European Union to enforce. If the tobacco companies win the case, the European Parliament's attempts to force bigger health warnings to be printed on cigarette packets would also be blocked. Excellent news - a major victory for free speech and the right to disseminate information to consumers about legal products.

  • Bargain Basement Beer

    Tesco have introduced new "Value" bitter and lager retailing at 97p for four 440 ml cans, with an alcoholic strength of 2.1% and 2.0% ABV respectively. I can't see what the market will be for this, as presumably it's made from the cheapest ingredients and tastes vile, and if you're buying it purely to get drunk you'll have to consume an awful lot of liquid. I wouldn't give it to a dog. On a more positive note, Tesco have reduced the maximum price of their 500 ml bottled ales to £1.49, which means that some fine bottled-conditioned beers such as Fuller's 1845, Young's London Ale and Hopback Summer Lightning are 30 - 40p cheaper than they were before, and excellent value for money.

  • A Spoke in Labour's Bicycle Wheel

    Transport Minister Lord (Gus) MacDonald sparked outrage among cyclists by warning that plans to increase the use of bicycles may jeopardise the government's aim of cutting road deaths by 40% by 2010 - putting the two objectives into conflict. I love these clashes between two wings of political correctness - just like the one earlier in the year about road humps having to be cut down to allow the passage of disabled-friendly low-floor buses. Mile for mile, cycling is seven times more dangerous than driving a car, and taken to the logical extreme one of the best ways of improving road safety would be to ban it on public roads.

Return to News Index